Navy jokes

80+ Navy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Lou

Funny Navy Jokes and Puns Will make you laugh

Navy Jokes - Military Jokes - Jokes4us

  1. The 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever - Updated in 2021. Corporal Wabo February 25, 2021 February 19, 2021. Every military branch thinks that they're the best, the most important, and in their own way the hardest working. There are so many funny military jokes and jabs out there so it took me a while to compile a list of only the best
  2. Jokes among military members are as old as the military and the branches themselves. Here are some classic Army and Navy jokes that are good G rated humor. This is standard West Point and Annapolis heckling, but the goes well beyond the service academies and reach into the regular Army and Navy, among pilots, special forces, and other units as.
  3. A big list of royal navy jokes! 13 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Royal Navy Jokes. This joke may contain profanity..

Best navy jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 28 Navy jokes - page 2. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish, she asks, will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine 5 military jokes that will keep you laughing for hours. Tim Kirkpatrick. Posted On April 12, 2018 20:08:26 With all the dumb stuff that's going on in the world today, it's a damn good thing that the military never loses its sense of humor. In fact, we're constantly busy coming up with new and hilarious ways to bash on rival branches in. March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. Attention! Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the. Navy Jokes Back To Duffel Bag Army Jokes Air Force Jokes Marine Jokes WW11, Others Jokes An admiral is standing by a candy machine at the Naval Academy in Annapolis when he stops a plebe walking by. Sailor, do you have change for a dollar? Sure, buddy, says the plebe, rooting around his pocket. That's no way to address an officer

Following is our collection of funny Military jokes.There are some military surplus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline Jan 18, 2019 - Explore Frank's board Navy jokes on Pinterest. See more ideas about military humor, navy humor, navy life

Best navy jokes ever - Unijokes

  1. g to up your military humor and air force humor, then these navy jokes, jokes about Marines, camouflage jokes, boot camp jokes, short military jokes will be a huge boost. 26. Why was the soldier very careful in front of his commanding officer on Thanksgiving day? Because his senior was a full bird colonel. 27
  2. Nov 14, 2018 - Explore Cynthia Perry's board Navy Jokes on Pinterest. See more ideas about military humor, navy jokes, military memes
  3. Navy SEAL takes the gun puts it back down on the desk and says sir I love my wife I'm sorry I cant do it and walks outs. The President calls in the second candidate who is an Army Ranger. The president tells him that in the next room is his wife and that he want him to take the pistol and kill her. The Army Ranger gets up goes into the next.
  4. This Joke Already Won! A North Korean soldier was asked to measure the height of a comrade's rifle. I can't, he replied. My ruler is only 12 inches. The friend looked at him, rather confused, and said, I actually think Kim Jong-un is taller than that. CATEGORY Military Jokes. 10th Place won $5.00
  5. Share jokes - Whether it's the above military jokes or other humor, share the joy of laughing with others. Indulge in comedy - After a long day of work, relax and watch funny movies or TV shows. Be playful - Play with pets, children, and/or just be silly with people around you. Make Laughter A Part of Your Daily Lif
  6. Funny Military Joke-25. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?. The guy responds, well, before you tell that, you should know that I'm 6′ tall, 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6′ 2″, weighs 250, and he's also a Marine.

Military Jokes for All Branches. These jokes are perfect for anyone in the military to laugh at. The list below includes humorous one-liners and stories that will make your military friends and family members laugh like never before The Best Military Jokes. The funny military jokes and on this list are for soldiers and civilians alike. This military humor will crack you up whether you're in the Army, Marines, Navy, or Air Force. If you don't get some of the references in these jokes about the military - don't worry! Unless you're in the National Guard, then you. Navy Parrot The old Navy chief finally retired and got that chicken ranch he always wanted. He took with him his life-long pet parrot. The first morning at 0430, the parrot squawked loudly and said, Reveille, Reveille. Up all hands, Heave out, trice up! The smoking lamp is lit, now Reveille

The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges. Ideas for the top 41 military jokes were taken from the following sources.[1] Reader's Digest - Military Joke. [2] Ranker - The Best Military Joke. [3] LaffGaff - Funny Military Joke And Humor. [4] Vet Friends - Laugh out loud with the military joke of the week These are the best military jokes Internet has to offer, so do share them with your friends. 1. Military Hospital An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: What's your problem, Soldier? Chronic syphilis, Sir What.. Funny Navy Jokes. American Navy Soldier in Paris. The elderly American Navy Soldier arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport. You 'ave been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked sarcastically For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. army marine language army joke light door navy air.

The Navy, and the Army Air Corps, was losing a lot of planes and crews to enemy fire. So, the Navy modeled where its planes showed the most bullet holes per square foot. Its officers reasoned that adding armor to these places would stop more bullets with the limited amount of armor they could add to each plane 13 Funny Jokes about Marines, Navy and Army. Posted in Funnp Jokes by admin. Marines, Navy and Army are the forces set for the defensive operations of a country. In every country throughout the world, these forces operate independently or under mutual command for the purpose of protection. For people who are passionate to join these forces, it. A pair of a novice sailors' best mate died, and, in his will, specified that he wanted them to bury him at sea. So, the pair set out from shore in a rowboat with the body. They had rowed out a little way when one got out of the boat and stood knee deep in water. We need to go out further, he told the other 20 Extremely Funny Navy Memes That Are Just Plain Genius. June 23, 2018. 25473. In the military, people love cracking jokes about each brand. They have no reservations even if they are making fun of their own. And the rivalry just keeps getting better and funnier

Why do sailors have such a bad reputation?

Navy Jokes : Puns And One Liner

Britain's military has a long tradition of banter and belly-laughing jokes and the internet has gone into a frenzy for our selection of our favourites of all time. Thousands of people have viewed the Forces Network post after we dug out some of our top military funnies for your reading Kit easily adapts to Navy or Coast Guard use with the addition of appropriate color paint and logos (paint and logos not supplied in kit). Break into a chorus of Anchors Aweigh, hum a few lines of Semper Paratus, or if really motivated stand at attention and shout the Marine Hymn and enter the real world of life at sea Navy Jokes 2. An irate retired captain stormed into a newspaper office in a great fume. In a feature you referred to me as 'battle-scared' instead of 'battle-scarred'. We are awfully sorry, captain, apologized the editor, We'll rush through an urgent correction. The retake called the captain, 'bottle-scarred' this time Navy jokes. Well, snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave . Not me, Chief! the Seaman replied. Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again

Navy Jokes - Funny Navy Jokes - Best Navy Jokes One Liner

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind. In the Navy, it's essential to remember that loose lips sink ships. OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.. DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social. Not all of the jokes and sayings are directly connected to battle, indeed many of them are simple wry comments on how the military operates - or doesn't! Take a look through our selection and perhaps you will better understand that military humor can, in fact be funny Not anything secret of course, just things that are known basically only by Navy personnel. References, in-jokes, reference to the sub, whatever. Thanks, guys! EDIT: Shit, you all gave me some great ideas! This thing'll be dope. Feel free to keep coming with the ideas, I can still add on, it ain't going out till tomorrow

135 Funny Military Jokes About The Army, Navy, Marines

  1. Below are some classic Navy Chief Petty Officer (CPO) jokes. A crusty old Chief found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local (strictly women's) liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief for conversation
  2. Top 16 Marine Jokes Posted on October 8, 2018 October 1, 2018 Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites
  3. Top 25 Reasons to Re-Enlist: Military Jokes and Humor. List of U.S. Air Force Bases and Installations. Coast Guard Jokes. Military Jokes and Humor - Funny Boot Camp Stories. Military Academy Jokes And Humor. Top Military Gift Ideas. Complete Lyrics for Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonde
  4. Military Jokes - NO banner ads! No service favoritism: we poke fun at the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Special Forces, Airborne, and anyone who has ever been in a uniform. Not the same old jokes either

Help me out with all the Navy jokes you know. 05-12-10, 07:51 AM #2. TJR1070. View Profile View Forum Posts View Blog Entries View Articles View Gallery Uploads Marine Free Member. Join Date Jun 2003 Location Long Island, New York Posts 754 Credits 5,391 Savings 0. Try these reponses to common sailor comments.. They say a joke becomes a dad joke when it becomes apparent. We would say it's when it's all groan. Sorry. The post 80 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's Digest Funny military sayings. Those who have served in the military often have a dry sense of humor that produces some funny military sayings. If you are going to be speaking or making a toast at a retirement celebration for a new veteran, check out this collection to add humor to your speech Here are some funny jokes about army and marine. 1. The story of how the Marines became a branch under the Department of the Navy: It seems that after WW I, the war to end all wars, the US Govt. had a lot of surplus material that they had no use for. What to do with it was a problem, and it was finally decided to hold an auction and sell.

14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2021 Update) - Marine

  1. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY military JOKES: 1 - A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, If you ki... More ››. 2 - As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make:... More ››
  2. However, we have put together some of our favourite jokes that we could share. Please take a look below and let us know what you would have added to this list. Halt. 1. Best go and see the Drill Sergeant. A young soldier from the Rifles is on Stag duty at night when he sees a figure approaching his position. Halt
  3. Military jokes, Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Jokes. Site Content - Quotes Menu - Unit Mottos - Jokes/Humor - Military Gear Shop - Photo Gallery - US Military Ranks: Military Forums: 490k posts, 6,900+ members from over 80 countries Join the Military Forums Today.
  4. A RAF engineering officers joke: Whats the difference between a fighter pilot and his aircraft? The plane stops whining when you shut down the engines. Carrier Humor. A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his carrier one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him
  5. es cost an arm and a leg these days. Trench warfare should always be a last ditch.
  6. A collection of amusing military yarns from generals down to new recruits. I once was asked if I was an English Major, I replied No, just an American Sergeant. Worse Punishment? General Stuck in the Mud American Army Soldier Yarn The Nutty Soldier American General Reinwald Tale Favourite Funny Military and Service Jokes Letter Home Funny Army stories Read More
  7. Military jokes, Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. Site Content - Quotes Menu - Unit Mottos - Jokes/Humor - Military Gear Shop - Photo Gallery - US Military Ranks: Military Forums: 490k posts, 6,900+ members from over 80 countries Join the Military Forums Today Army Combat Uniform.

The new jokes are posted every day. military jokes, military humor, army, navy, marines corps, air forces, special forces, coast guard. Friday, June 04, 2010. WAR VETERANS. Fred mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes

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Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes@strategyworld.com. Killed bin Laden Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the most serious sergeants. 30 of the Funniest Why Did the Chicken Cross the.

Military Jokes And Humor - Navy VS

  1. Funny Military Jokes. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! - Page
  2. Secure The Building - Military Jokes. Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about the military, the army, navy, air force, war, and more. Enjoy a wide variety of funny Christian jokes, good clean jokes, and family safe jokes and religious humor. One reason the Armed Services have trouble operating jointly is that they have very different meanings for the.
  3. Sample Navy Squid joke: A Squid and a Marine are in the bathroom peeing in the urinal, the Squid washes his hands and says smugly -in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands after peeing.The Marine looks at him and says in the Marines they teach us not to pee on our hands. Source: Leatherneck.com. 2. Boo
  4. Category: Navy Jokes The Message . A young ensign had nearly completed his fist overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind
Air Force vs Army vs Marines | Military humor, Military

The 13+ Best Royal Navy Jokes - ↑UPJOKE

5 military jokes that will keep you laughing for hours

Military Jokes: Jokes for Every Branch Reader's Diges

Is the U.S. Navy ready for war? A new report prepared by Marine Lt. Gen. Robert Schmidle and Rear Adm. Mark Montgomery, both retired, for members of Congress paints a portrait of the Navy as an. Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar. What is long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine! Well, snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. I suppose after you get discharged from the. Navy personnel are highly educated, specially equipped military leaders who manage the Navy's personnel, ships, and weapons. As men of armed forces who protect their families and their countries at large, they could do with some humor as they keep doing their duties. We will be sharing some hilarious jokes associated with the Navy

Navy Jokes - dillsborolegion

92+ Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Lou

Military Evaluations. Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Report): Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. A room temperature IQ. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus Basic flying rules joke 12/13. [Military Joke]Guantanamo Bay joke 12/01. German Volkswagens joke for kids 11/19. [Military joke]Forget Guns joke 11/06. Collateral Damage joke [Military joke] 10/29. Three conditions when joker in the army 09/11. How did the soldier fit his tank in his house 09/06 Joke FITREP Bullets Below are some, supposedly, actual Fitrep and Evaluation bullets used in the British Navy: This officer's presence aboard my ship is depriving some village of its idiot. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.. A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best h, Really Short Funny Jokes

Posted on August 14, 2018 by Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. 24. My father served in the Royal Navy for 37 years plus an extra ten in a civilian capacity. There were good natured jokes and rivalry between the senior service, army and Royal Air Force. Here are a few that I have sourced from archives and various sites A variation of my favorite Military joke ever. There was a Soldier, and a Sailor at the same bar drinking. The soldier goes into the restroom to pee. Just before he walks out the sailor walks in. The sailor notices that the soldier didn't wash his hands. The sailor then asks the soldier, Didn't they teach you to wash your hands in the Army Military Joke 1. Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia Joe Biden, left, 78, borrowed a line from Ronald Reagan, right, while cracking a joke about the Navy during his commencement speech to Coast Guard in Connecticut Wednesday

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Military Jokes. Funny jokes about the military. Army jokes, Navy jokes, Air Force jokes, Marine jokes. Fun, free jokes. These jokes will give you a smile and.. Military Jokes and Humor Jokes, humorous stories, and funny photos about the United States Military, including jokes and humor about the United States Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard

New boot camp ribbon prompts disbelief, jokes. Mark D. Faram. August 23, 2015. Boot camp — The nickname for the new sailor who shows up at their first ship or squadron. When a new sailor shows. Here you can find a collection of military jokes and humor, french military jokes, funny military jokes, military jokes one liners, short military jokes, dirty military jokes So Enjoy Your stay here During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle Military jokes and army humor, ranging from jokes about the Air Force to jokes about the Navy

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Navy Newbie Jokes. Here are some of the practical joke s we used to play on Navy Newbie s, or those bald poorly tanned folks from boot camp. If someone tells you to report for the Mail Buoy Watch at the bow of the ship, it's a joke. Believe it or not, they don't dump loads of US Mail in the middle of the ocean for ships to find Military Jokes Laziest Soldier A sergeant was addressing a squad of 20 and said: I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest. 19 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man why didn't you raise your hand? The man replied: Too much trouble, sarge. This joke submitted by Rich. 1 sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1403808.59375GB in about 3 seconds. And you thought Virgin broadband was fast. Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone The joke comes at 0:15 into the segment and should be cued up above. OK, to be honest, that's pretty much all the military humor from this week's episode, but the USMC's finest actor since Gene.

Military Photos USS California Prepares for Commissioning

30+ Best Military Jokes And Puns by Kidad

military aviation jokes. MESSAGE LEFT ON THE BRITISH ARMY ANSWERPHONE: Thank you for calling the British Army. I'm sorry, but all our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country, name of organisation, the region, the specific crisis and a number at which we can call you Italian Military Jokes. Trending Images. Browsing 32 images. + Add an Image. Like us on Facebook! Pin Tweet. Italian Military Jokes are quips aimed at mocking the effectiveness or prowess of the Italian military, often consisting of stereotypes that Italian soldiers are cowardly and depictions of the Italian Navy as floating pizza. All. Trending Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS) Click to expand... I see, so it is a code way to say that i am a dumb arse? or is the joke that she does him up the rear. I am rubbish at getting jokes, or at understanding things in general life. Quote. Joint_Force_Harrier MIA. Sep 17, 2013 # More jokes!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySGa5Cb98wU&list=PL2mX0cdCWF2EtMpN_KEXc6sbixHNJwVN2 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/c/dailyjokesxdBest Fun.. The mail buoy prank on new sailors is a classic example of practical jokes played to establish who is in and who is out of a particular identity, further distinguishing who has the knowledge and experience from who doesn't. In this case, the mail buoy practical joke is a way of legitimizing the change in identity from a new to a seasoned sailor

Army vs. Navy. An Army Colonel and a Navy Commodore dressed in ceremonial attire, are taking a pee in the men's room. Post finishing their business, the Army guy washes his hands and dries them on a towel. The Navy guy proceeds to just walk out. Seeing this, the Army guy can't resist taking a snipe and says, 'Didn't the Navy teach you to wash. Plus, get uninterrupted access to thousands of military photos, jokes, cadences, lingo, stories, and much more! 100% Name Match Guarantee. Over 25 Million Records. Over 2,824,918 Veterans & Military have joined! Enjoy these great benefits: Search 2,824,918 VetFriends Members and the 100% Guarantee Different clean funny jokes about the military can be found daily at MyHumor.org. Many different jokes about the various branches of the military, such as the army, navy, air force, marines, coast guard, and reserves can be found here. As always, only clean, funny humor is allowed

In the military, if you can't take a joke, people will isolate, target, and ostracize you from the group. As a brown man, when I picture myself as a veteran, I see a grizzled, old, bearded. Black Twitter Roasted Yahoo Finance After The Nigger Navy Typo Tweet. The #NiggerNavy hashtag caught fire last night and hasn't let up. By Tamerra Griffin. Tamerra Griffin BuzzFeed News Reporter. Posted on January 6, 2017, at 9:47 a.m. ET Tweet Share Copy By now you've probably seen the unfortunate typo Yahoo Finance made in a tweet.

Military JOKES. The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and. Military humor is humor based on stereotypes of military life. Military humor portrays a wide range of characters and situations in the armed forces.It comes in a wide array of cultures and tastes, making use of burlesque, cartoons, comic strips, double entendre, exaggeration, jokes, parody, gallows humor, pranks, ridicule and sarcasm.. Military humor often comes in the form of military jokes. Italian Military Jokes Images. Italian Military Jokes. Images. Like us on Facebook! Italian Military Jokes are quips aimed at mocking the effectiveness or prowess of the Italian military, often consisting of stereotypes that Italian soldiers are cowardly and depictions of the Italian Navy as floating pizza. Uploaded by J. The Perverted Summoner

180 Navy Jokes ideas military humor, navy jokes

Military Jokes Very Important Colonel. General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: So how are your men?. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to Happy Hour Biden Made Disrespectful Joke to Father of Navy SEAL? Did Joe Biden make a disrespectful remark to the father of a Navy SEAL killed in Libya? David Mikkelso Before that, as Fox News recalls, Reagan told the joke in the same setting in 1988: My Coast Guard aides have been excellent. One of them taught me that, and I quote, 'The Coast Guard is that hard nucleus about which the Navy forms in time of war,' Reagan told the cadets, which responded with cheers Biden referenced the description of the Coast Guard as that hard nucleus around which the Navy forms in time of war, though he fumbled with the quote. When the line was met with silence, Biden joked that the graduates were a really dull class and suggested the sun was getting to them

Military Photos USS Constitution Fires Twenty-one-gun SaluteIt's Monday , yippee! need a joke ? let's call it PG-13